Canned Heat By – Jamiroquai has this great line, “So I’ve got to hang out all my hang-ups”
We all have weird hang-ups. What are yours?
I think hang-ups are the things that cause anxiety in our lives. Our triggers.
I’ll share some of mine.
- The worst one: I am super weird about parking. I have anxiety about going places because I don’t know what the parking situation will be. Not so much whether it’s free or paid, but if there will be any. I just booked an appointment for a massage on my birthday next week and I am already nervous about the parking. I am so scared there won’t be anywhere to park.
- My midsection. If you’ve read me before, you know this. If not, please know that I hate hate hate my midsection – my tummy, my belly. I’ve hated it since I was 11. I have a journal entry talking about it then. Running has been helping with this. Eating too much food hasn’t helped. I hate for it to be seen, touched, tickled, no matter how beloved I am. It makes me anxious if someone even looks at my stomach (do they think I’m pregnant? do I have a muffin top? Oh, God, please stop looking at me!). It causes me to panic when anyone touches my midsection.
- I can be doing 99% of everything well or correctly in my life. One thing happens that is indicative that I haven’t done something important, or I forget something I was supposed to do, but basically something goes wrong, and I am basically devastated and think I am the worst. This is debilitating. So as a result, I try to be a high performer in all areas of my life, which only makes things worse when a devastating blow occurs. There are two triggers here: anxiety over the possibility and anxiety over what others (will) think of me if I fail to do something. I have made some progress here, and I recognize this is self-imposed.
- Communicating. If I don’t know the exact right thing to say yet, I don’t say anything. This causes anxiety for me because I know I need to say something (to a colleague, my spouse, my child’s teacher, a friend), but because what I have to say isn’t completely formed or will cause concern, I withhold. Knowing I need to say something creates pressure for me, and so I avoid.
- Deadlines. When a deadline is in the distance, I don’t worry about it. As it approaches, I grow anxious. Not necessary, as I could complete work in a timely fashion, but the alarm call to action hits a little later for me than it should. I sabotage myself this way, and I am worried I won’t get everything done. And I become a horrible person to everyone around me.
Please share your hang-ups with me! I know you’re reading, so please comment.
Thanks for reading.