Yes, here’s another update on the painting. Seems to be going well! I know that I am creating it, but as I paint, I experience something that has always baffled me about anything I have created: it all seems preordained to be the way it comes out. I remember writing essays in English class, where I had this image flash in my mind about what my essay would look like long before I actually wrote it. I am the same way with art work. Even though I feel like I am actively making decisions about things as I paint along, it feels hard for me to take credit for each decision that winds up on the canvas. It just seems like it was supposed to look that way, that each decision was a good one. In this way of thinking, I know I am thinking passively about my artwork, which maybe doesn’t give myself enough credit, but I feel like this is more true than any other way of describing it. Maybe it’s because I can’t explain why I make things the way that I do. It just comes out looking the way it does, which usually looks good, and I am always pleasantly surprised that it actually looks good.
I’m pretty pleased with the progress. There are still some areas that I am trying to figure out, but the village looks really fun and somewhat plausible in its 2-D-ness.
As my painting develops, I am also reflecting on the areas in my life that I am trying to figure out. In anticipation of good things happening, I am also dealing with some areas that lack clarity. It’s not so much unhappiness, but more so not knowing how certain things are going to work out, as well as self-identifying some areas for personal growth. While I could be content with my life, there are just certain areas nagging at me for attention — some more loudly and more actively than others.
Maybe working through this painting will add some clarity for me in these areas of my own life’s picture, but if not, at least I’ll have a painting done that I have been needing to finish for a long time now!
“… He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.” – Phillipians 1:6
(Though I don’t generally like quoting one line of scripture to suit my needs because it runs the risk of decontextualizing its source, this is a mantra of sorts from a song I learned growing up at church. It comforts me today.)