Sorry if you’ve checked my page the last while and have been disappointed yet again by the lack of blog entries. I apologize.
Work’s been busy and tiring, but good. Life and love are also good. Singing’s been good, too. Trip planning has been brilliant – it’s the beacon on the hill, the light at the end of the tunnel for me lately. Job hunting.
Job hunting has not been so good. I haven’t heard a peep from anyone who might be interested in hiring me as a teacher. Maybe it’s just not going to happen for me this year. Which is a bummer.
I’m also mostly unemployed from June – September, a situation that has put me into quite a funk, to be sure. I have some options for work from June through the beginning of July, which is wonderfully generous of the folks who have offered those opportunities. But then what? There’s this vast gulf of time and no pay check that is having its way with my level of happiness and productivity. I am continually berating myself for not pursuing a more decisive major. I’ve been told that if I want to get anywhere with this dream of becoming a teacher, I need to do coursework toward that goal rather than the way I’d hoped: that I’d get a teaching job and then have time (and assistance) with schooling as I go.
To say I’m sad is not enough. I’m totally uncertain about my future. I’m thinking that I may need to strike out in a completely new direction. As usual, my mind provides me too many possible directions, resulting in a decision of Not Making a Decision.
I’ve prayed and cried and felt tired about it. A lot.
Will you please pray for me about it all? That God will show me the next rope to try as I swing through the jungle of life? That I can see where I am headed or at least trust that I will be okay? I don’t feel okay right now.
Sorry for the sad post. Maybe I really have been under a rock. It doesn’t help that the weather has returned to winter this week – we even had snow this morning. Oh, to be warm, free, and full of hope again. I’m not there yet, but I hope I will be soon.