Oh, that would be me. See, everytime I go to North Carolina, which happens a lot given our family and friend ties, I want to move there, post haste.
This past weekend has yet again elicited this response in my mind.
What is wrong with me? Don’t I see how great I have it here?
Lately, when I see my Atlanta friends, they all seem to gush about how long it’s been since they’ve seen me, which is odd because I feel like time is going so quickly these days that surely it was two days ago since I saw these same friends. It’s only until I consult the calendar that I understand it actually has been weeks since Josef’s party and months since we’ve been to church in a regular capacity. I missed Octave rehearsal last week, but that actually does feel like a long time ago. Weird.
Back to North Carolina and how wonderful it is. Part of my desire to live there is that we always go there to relax – vacation, in other words. Do I really think if I worked there I would feel like I was on vacation? Doubtful. Also, western NC is very close to my family, at least, most of them. One sister and her family is still 4+ hours from the Asheville area where we see ourselves living eventually, but that’s a bit closer than 5 or 6 hours. I just love the mountains and seeing gorgeous surroundings in every direction. I mean, Atlanta’s pretty, too, but I just feel so differently about it.
I guess what I really seek is contentment, which I know is the hardest thing to come by in this life. It’s so easy to say to myself that I am not going to worry about money, where we live, what we do with our time, but it’s not easy to be happy when my mind seems to have been left in another state 3 hours away. On the other end of the spectrum, I need to take my friends seriously when they say they haven’t seen me in a while and figure out what’s been keeping us apart – and pay attention to when it happens again! It’s counter intuitive that finding contentment is neither sitting on the couch so I can be at the ready nor keeping busy at trying to achieve happiness and fulfillment.
So, in an effort to set my mind on a more positive track, I am listing the things for which I am grateful this morning:
- My husband. I adore him already, but we had a great weekend together (and with friends from the playa.info board!!) AND he rocks big time because he helps me out by doing really sweet things. Last night, for instance, he went and got gas in both of our cars. I had tried unsuccessfully to get gas in my car yesterday – twice – and was beyond frustrated when I called him to say I was tired of people being mean to me and others over this gas shortage. He’s a total sweetie and I love him for taking good care of me. I enjoy taking care of him, too!
- I work in a really, really great place.
- I have really awesome friends. And a lot of them, too. I am blessed with lots of different kinds of friends in my life. “A friend is a gift you give yourself.”
- Our house. It’s ours, it’s cute, we enjoy it.
- Our dog. I missed him over the weekend! It was great to see him again yesterday!
- I’m generally healthy. I’m generally in shape, too.
- The girls I coach in cheerleading are really hard working and willing to start practice early and stay late. One of them told me last week that thinking about getting to go to cheerleading practice helps her get through the day. How awesome is that?
- I can sing, and sing with others! I really enjoyed making music with people I’d just met over the weekend, some of whom we also singers, and others were guitarist, impromptu percussionists, etc.! As much as people might compliment me for my voice, I consider it a gift to share with others, not something to be used to garner praise for myself. I love singing with others (whether they are singing or playing instruments) more than anything.
- My family. They should not be this far down on the list, but I do love them all immensely and am grateful for their roles in shaping my life. I wish I saw them more often. Maybe that will be my goal in the new year. I really love that my sisters and brothers-in-law and some of our cousins are on Facebook now. 🙂
- My faith. Though the path wanders a bit and I question a lot, I know it’s backbone of my being and I benefit greatly from viewing the world with my faithful eyes. There’s no room for judgment, hatred, anger, or any other negative when I really look through these lenses. Even though I sometimes wonder what the point of life is, why do we just keep going if there’s all this bad stuff in the world, if I stop and remember that I am a child of God and that everyone else is, too, then I know I can treat myself and others with the special kindness and consideration to which we all have a right. That really helps me center myself in positivity.