HGTV, how I love thee

Let me count the ways…

Okay, there are too many to list. I actually want to dedicate this post to anyone who has ever lived with me, from when I was born until now. Let’s just say that pretty much anyone who has been blessed with my presence as their house- or roommate had a few things coming to them.

First of all, okay, I have ADD. Yes, piles and piles of stuff can accumulate around me and I won’t notice until either I need something and can’t find it OR the person with whom I am living screams at me to freakin’ clean up. I just get too distracted. It all started when I was little and I’d be playing Barbies or blocks, or whatnot, and sure enough, something interesting would distract me, like a friend coming over or we’d have to leave right that moment to go somewhere (usually an aunt or uncle’s house to see cousins – fun!), and was there time to clean up? Nope. So after a while, the thought of cleaning up first just didn’t occur. It still happens to this day, but, you guys, I am sooo much better! I think I really owe the biggest apology to Rach, who lived with me (maybe that should be put up with me) for the first two years of college. And no, we didn’t not live together later because I was a slob, fyi.

Last night on HGTV, during the commercials, they advertised a show that’s coming on sometime (hello, ADD didn’t allow me to mentally note when it’s coming on, my brain quickly scooted off to my Wayne’s World-style daydream transport) and I recalled two distinct things. First, my college room, particularly freshman year, could very well have been featured on this show because it was awesome. Also, my parents allowed me to develop the skill set needed to make my college room so awesome .

When we were in the first house I lived in growing up, our house was probably 200 feet from the road, which was itself at least 5 miles from civilization. We lived on an entire acre, surrounded by peach orchards and cow fields, neither of which we owned, but we still benefited from the scenery and pungent odors of cow poo. Actually, looking in one direction, maybe east, there was a huge field, free of trees, which was prone to displaying the most gorgeous rainbows after an afternoon thunderstorm.

Out in this remote area, my imagination pretty much had no bounds. And since we must have had some serious time on our hands, my sisters and I got to decorate for whatever season was coming up to the fullest extent, because, get this, our house was waaaaaay off the road and waaaaaaaaay far away from anyone who might see it. I, in particular, embraced the opportunity to decorate our front windows and door, oblivious to the realization that no one, but no one, other than us, would ever see it.

For Halloween, which was by far my favorite, I’d make ghosts by wadding up a ball of Kleenex and putting it in the center of another Kleenex, which I’d fold over the wadded up Kleenex like the wrapper of a Tootsie-Roll pop. Then I’d hold the exterior Kleenex together with some string. I’d lightly draw ghoulish faces onto the fragile, unforgiving surface of the Kleenex head and then tape the completed ghost up in the window. I’d make like 20 of them. Can’t you just hear their chorus of boooos? Look, this artist, Mary Klein, actually has painted a Kleenex ghost! I salute you, Mary Klein!

Then, I’d take a paper plate and draw a witch flying on her broom in silhouette against a full moon. How spooky, eh? It was awesome.

So I totally decorated our college dorm room with these ghosts around Halloween. And from somewhere, we got some bright green web material and those fun plastic spider rings that we put in the web. My black light lit up the web to an eerily awesome degree, and the ghosts glowed a bit too as they were just white Kleenex. But did I take down these decorations when I was done? Why, noooooooooooo.

To it, I added snowflakes, also an old do-it-yourself decoration I employed in decorating our front windows at our old house. I am sure I could handle pattern 31, as I am sure I am at the necessary Advanced skill level.

So, snowflakes and ghosts and the eventually nappy green web. Done, right?

Nope. I added empty soda cans. Christmas lights.

I did all these under cover of darkness as my roommate slept. Did I mention I didn’t ever sleep in college unless it was absolutely necessary? It was a throwback to my old preschool days where I was always too wound up to nap and they had to bribe me to nap (which I pretended to do but never actually did). She’d wake up the next morning to find the Ceiling Fairy had added yet some more crazy items to the ceiling. Like magic!

So, yes, it is just a miracle of miracles that my roommate did not kill me. Apparently my ability to make her laugh far outweighed her annoyance at my messiness and need to hang weird things from the ceiling.

I’m a lot better now, I promise! 😉 HGTV, along with a host of roommates and now my husband taught me the benefits of organization. For the most part. Maybe I’ll hang up some ghosts in our window this Halloween as a nod to the good ol’ days.


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