I know it’s counter-positivity to record angry thoughts, but I got ’em right now.
Whereas I have some great ideas that might shape my career right now, no one is really around to share with right now. Yes, I was able to share with my husband and some colleagues my reactions to the conference, but the physical unavailability of those who could help me with my search that mention in my other post is frustrating me at the moment. I will take deep breaths and try to chill out – their absences are not intentional on their part.
I’ve been part of an email chain today in which two different people misconstrued two different things that I said. Both instances seem extremely petty and in both cases I was trying to clear up a misunderstanding and make things better for the whole group. Apparently my communication skills beg me to improve them.
I’m feeling overwhelmed again by stupid things: I feel bloated. I feel tired. I don’t feel like cleaning the kitchen or taking out the stinky trash. The stupid printer says that there are two magenta cartridges installed so it won’t print out something that I very much need to print out. I don’t know when my husband’s coming home from work, so I went ahead and snacked on some stuff and am now full (back to the first complaint). I called several friends this afternoon, including my sister, only to get voicemail. One of my friends did call back! That’s a happy thought! I felt all distracted when I talked to her, though. My attention span’s been short all day. Maybe I should meditate. Or go on a walk. I tried to work on some solo audition stuff for Octave, but that couldn’t hold my attention, either. Ergh.
Better luck tomorrow, I suppose.