High School Chorus Reunion

It’s been a week.

I get to make my great escape tomorrow, though. I’m headed to my hometown to sing in my high school chorus again. Should be fun, eh? I’m psyched.

Our chorus director, Mrs. P., was an amazing chorus director. I first got to know her when I was in 4th grade and she was the music teacher at my elementary school. I, along with some other lucky ducks, got to be in her “special afterschool choir” which meant we got to sing a song at her high school Christmas choir’s concert (I still remember the song, as I had a short solo in it). We also got to walk across the street to the gas station that also served ice cream because it was the end of the year, it was hot outside, and she wanted to celebrate. Mrs. P. has always been big on celebrating.

I went three years without singing with her until freshman year. Oh, boy, it was finally time for the big time. Freshman year choir was just about a million high school girls who all would have auditioned for American Idol if it had existed then. Sophomore through senior year, however, I was part of the prestigious concert choir. We were the snobs of the high school choirs. Not really. We just really liked choir. A whole lot.

Under Mrs. P.’s direction, we auditioned for All State, picked out new choir dresses, learned a ton of music, etc. She was always fun and let us do fun stuff. She always took pictures of our outfits during spirit week, the week leading up to Homecoming. She also had the mindset of a true public school, industrious teacher: she got a bus license so she could drive us places herself and not have to take that money out of her budget. The woman could drive that thing through the narrow lanes of Winthrop University with grace like nothing I’ve seen since.

I think even in my high school mind, I knew she gave her heart for her work and I appreciated all she did. I remember feeling badly for her when students would disrespect her in class. She was always so graceful and it is an honor to have been her student.

This weekend, she is taking a break from retirement and will be leading lots of her old students in a reunion concert. It should be pretty interesting! I wonder how many of these former students have been singing since they graduated from high school.

I already had my ten year high school reunion, back in October, but it feels like another high school reunion. Even though I wasn’t the most outgoing person back then, some of the happiest moments in my teen years happened in Mrs. P.’s chorus room during songs we sang. Whether it was making silly faces across the room at my friends who were altos (I was a soprano) or learning music theory or hearing about Mrs. P.’s experiences at the show choir conference she’d attended over the summer or getting a coveted solo (I didn’t get many solos back then, either), it was just a special experience. We went to sing in Carnegie Hall when I was a sophomore (and, duh, we practiced, practiced, practiced). We also sang at Carowinds and Six Flags. I know the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah because of Mrs. P. We sang it at the end of the Christmas concert every year, and back then, the alumni would come up and sing it with us.

That room is where I first learned how to breathe properly and fill my lungs quickly by sipping air like through a straw. I learned how to sit properly while I sang, a habit I still carry as I sit at my desk at work – people have commented on my posture at work. I experienced the thrill of singing part of a beautiful chord.

I also learned that life wasn’t fair and that if I wanted something, I’d have to work at it. Wanting something wasn’t going to get me anywhere, so I applied the things she taught us. I also figured out around this time that I could learn any words if they were set to a tune. I remember a great deal of the songs we sang — some of which we’re singing this weekend — because I would sing them over and over again at home. I loved singing scales and trying to make my voice sound like the voices of the girls who did get solos. I also got to know my own voice for what it is, and I do love my own unique sound now. I’m not vain about my voice though. I know it’s not the best voice but it’s mine. I could use lots of voice lessons, but I am confident where I used to cower and I really love pulling my vocal weight in a group.

I am really excited to get to sing these songs again this weekend. I think it will feel more like a real Homecoming than any high school reunion could be. I’m looking forward to Mrs. P. leading us through warm ups and rehearsal, and then following her lead during the concert on Saturday. I feel like it’s going to be like the end of Mr. Holland’s Opus for her, looking back into these faces that she knew when they were in their teenage states, but I am sure we’ll somehow look the same to her.

And we’ll make beautiful music, all together. I can’t wait.

Shake what your mama gave ya

Well, I’m not really writing about dancing. Or to tell you to shake anything.

But I do want to talk about what your mama gave ya.

I watched a tv show this morning as I ate my cereal. It’s a show called Secret Lives of Women on WE. The show explores different things that women do that others might not know about. The topic at hand was, however, something that would hard to, erm, hide: Plastic Surgery. Two of the three women were clearly addicted to having surgery, which was a little sad, honestly. One lady was on her 6th, I think, the other had had so many surgeries that the family sold their house to pay for the cost. Although they seemed pleased with the results, inevitably, there was something wrong with their bodies so back they ran to pour more money into their bodies.

I know, some women chose to have plastic surgery for a lot of very, very good reasons, including feeling better about themselves. But the examples this show gave were cases – especially the second one I mentioned – that clearly the person was going to be unhappy until her body reached perfection. What is perfection, though? She continually has uneven scarring from the incisions to put skin more tout, and if you saw her, you’d think she was perfect the way she is.

Sorry, let me interrupt myself with a quotation from Jimmy Buffett’s song, Fruitcakes:

“I treat my body like a temple. You treat YOURS like a TENT!”

To return to the story now, I wonder if the perpetual pursuit of perfection through plastic surgery, extreme dieting, what-have-you, is actually good for you. Perhaps these types are actually treating their bodies more like a tent, not the temporary vessel that it really is.

On one hand, I get it. People – women, in particular – want to be seen as attractive, approachable, etc.

On the other hand, the heavier hand, how much can you pour on yourself in this pursuit and still wind up happy? From my perspective, I am always upset with how folks spend their money – a practice I am working on myself, so this not a judgement thing (yet it is). If you’re going to spend more money than you have on your appearance, why can’t you be as equally willing to give that money away to others in need? I know, bleeding heart here, but seriously. If the best things in life are free: time with loved ones, a gorgeous sunset, a day when everything goes your way, having people around that love you, then why spend all that money on yourself?

I remember a story about a rich couple who were unhappy. They stared down into an alley one night and saw the local baker, let’s say, and his wife, the rich couple’s maid. They seemed really, really happy. The rich couple separately wondered, why are they so happy? They have nothing.

I think when we pursue really selfish things – blindly of others – we forget to see the big picture. That we’re all in this world together. That we can help each other out. I realize that as I age, my body and mind aren’t going to be what they were when I was in college or my early twenties. I have white hairs at my temples. Surprisingly, to myself, I am embracing these white hairs, because I feel like they are a sign of wisdom that I have earned. It feels unnatural for me to consider plastic surgery (and I couldn’t afford it anyway!) because I am sure that if I got one thing done, suddenly the rest of my body might not look so great.

A teacher stopped by our office today to help with some Admissions work. What started out as light chitchat grew into a really indepth discussion about evil. The teacher, J, was mentioning his childhood fascination with vampires, etc., and some stuff he was going through. He mentioned that pure evil never presents itself as something unattractive, and it exists in the tiny voice in our head that says, “You’re not good enough to be loved.” I was profoundly affected by this conversation, as I typically am with conversations with J.

A while back, when I was going through some therapy, my therapist had me recite some positive phrases to myself. Number one and two were:

1. I am a child of God.

2. I am loved and lovable.

I think accepting and reinforcing these truths to ourselves is very powerful. At least, it was for me. The common theme that has been presenting itself lately is really getting the golden rule or the greatest commandment: Treat others as you want to be treated or Love your neighbor as yourself.

It’s pretty much impossible to love your neighbor if you don’t love yourself.

Rambling like Char tonight!

I don’t have any cute little kid pictures, though.

Octave rehearsal has been canceled tonight, so now I have time to devote to the ol’ blog. A post every day this week so far – wow!

I have quite a bit on my mind, of course.

First, is my health. I’m not too happy with the way I have been treating myself lately. I’ve been a lump on a log, as mentioned in past blogs, and due to the sweet evil we know as Girl Scout cookies, well, let’s just say, I’ve let myself go a bit. I’m pretty disappointed in myself, of course. So, now I’m going back to the ways of healthy eatting and thinking. Starting now! This afternoon, as I am prone to do in the spring, which in and of itself gives me energy like spinach for Pop Eye, I went shopping for fruits. This time last year, I was eatting a lot of raw fruits and veggies in the form of smoothies. I wish I had more than one blender so that I could rotate between a clean one and the one in the dishwasher. But, it’s good to just have one so I can wash it every time I use it. So, yeah, here’s a toast to good health! And a return to feeling great about myself. I’m going to hula hoop tonight, too, because we all know it’s good for me.

Have you see the show on the Style network called Ruby? It’s about Ruby, a quite overweight woman who lives in Savannah, and she’s working with about 6 different people to help her conquer her bad habits that led to her mortal obesity. It’s a great show to watch because although I instantly felt critical of Ruby for being so overweight, now I feel hopeful for her and really, really want for her to succeed. I think she’d already lost a lot of weight before I ever saw an episode. Ruby is adorable, too, and she has a million friends because she’s sweet. I think it’s her southern accent, her acceptance of others, her willingness to speak her mind, and determination to take off all that weight that makes her so endearing.

Okay, on to another topic. Babies! I had a nice visit with my friend B today and her son. He is looking so much like his daddy, it’s amazing! Some of us from church are hosting a baby shower for our associate pastor, K, on Sunday. We’re really excited about it!

Next topic. Dust! It’s everywhere! I’ve been tackling the spring cleaning to-do list without the list so far as I keep having scary encounters with dust piles at every turn through our house. Yuck! I think maybe the extra sunlight due to springing forward in time one hour makes me see things differently. Dust that might not have been obvious at 5:00 last week, well, it’s sure there at 6:00 this week. I dunno, maybe that’s not a legitimate theory. All I know is there is dust and let’s not forget Hunter’s hair in plenty supply in our house. Too bad it’s useless, because we’d be rich!

Deep thought: In our young adult women’s Bible study, we’re working through some Faith and Film topics. Last night, we watched a portion of Les Misérables. We talked about forgiveness and whether or not bad people (as we see convicts as being) can truly reform. I think that everyone is good, as Anne Frank did, so it’s hard for me to lose hope for anyone. Others in the group were adament that some people are bad, no matter what. We talked about how we’ve all told white lies, to protect others, to avoid inconvenience, etc. I know that as a Christian I’m supposed to believe that everyone sins and can be forgiven, even myself. I just really like separating out the good and the evil, the essentially good person from their evil sins. I don’t like to let the two bleed into each other, but be starkly held apart, like ying and yang are reprensented. It’s a big topic to mentally wrestle with. I tend to think of goodness and love as light, and evil and hate as dark. I don’t like for them to blend, but of course they do. Even within myself. I just think we have to pour out our hope, love, and support for each other, and for ourselves. We also have to ask for help, like Ruby’s example. I think we have to love first and judge second – if at all. It’s too easy to fall into a pit of dispair because of our emotions or the way we view the world.

I’m reminded through this though pattern of Chuck Brodsky’s song, We Are Each Other’s Angels. I’ve only heard David Lamotte perform it, but it’s such an amazing song. Here are some of the words:

“We Are Each Other’s Angels by Chuck Brodsky

Sometimes you’ll stumble – sometimes you’ll just lie down
Sometimes you’ll get lonely – with all these people around
You might shiver when the wind blows – and you might get blown away
You might lose a little color – you might lose a little faith

We are each other’s angels – we meet when it is time
We keep each other going – and we show each other signs”

I’m grateful for all the angels who have touched my life in ways they know and could never know. I love thinking as myself as someone who could actually bless others, in big and small ways, as a way of giving thanks to God for all the wonderful people in my life who have blessed my path along the way. If I made a list, I wouldn’t be able to complete it as it would go on and on. And the people that have touched my life in these ways were also touched by others. It’s like a web of hope and love, or a really strong root system in which we are all entertwined. We can survive anything if we bear each other up.

Wildlife of our back yard

We own almost a quarter of an acre. The yard is long and lean, like a stretched out domino piece or a stick of gum, maybe. The back yard is the largest portion of our lot, yet the dog only cares about the perimeter. Who cares if he could frolic around the square footage of the yard? He only wants to admire the places he can’t get to because of that fence. Oh, that fence, which made purchasing this house so much easier. Seriously, I love that we didn’t have to put one up, although, I think we’re eventually going to have to make it more private.

The powers that be are widening the road outside our neighborhood and thankfully, that includes replacing a bridge that rates a 3 out of 100 on safety. I’m not kidding, that’s what the current bridge rates, so I hold my breath when I cross is. Meanwhile, the right of way behind our back yard has water drainage issues, so they recently put in a new pipe, buried it, and covered it with hay. Two Sundays ago it snowed, and yesterday was over 70 degrees. I think the shake up of road construction, pipe installation, and dramatic weather change has made our back yard feel a bit more like a zoo.

So far, we have various small bird varieties, including the Cardinal couples. One couple appears to live to the yard right of ours, and the other on the left. The females of each couple do NOT get along. The Sunday it snowed, I watched them for a good 15 minutes, that’s how entertaining they were! The Left Cardinal Couple tried to fly in for some birdseed. The female of the Right Cardinal Couple dive bombed the Left Cardinal Female about 20 times in the course of the viewing. Every time, the Left Cardinal Female yielded to the Right Cardinal Female. The Right Cardinal Male always came as backup. The Left Cardinal Male kept flying away to check out other options. Any time the Left Cardinal Female had success in getting some seed, she chirped for her male to come on over, and he would. Shortly thereafter, the dive bombing began anew.

Hunter got into a fight with a cat through the fence on Valentine’s Day. The cat, whom we know to be called Caspar, sat curled up in a ball for 20 minutes as Hunter bounded back and forth, barking at the cat. I thought the cat would finally slink away, but, no. Instead, the cat reared up like a Kung Fu fighter and pummeled Hunter’s schnoz through the fence. Poor dog got cat swipes all over his face, plus the metal of the fence cut him a little bit. I was pretty mad about the whole thing, but now it’s kind of funny.

There’s a hawk – either a Cooper’s hawk or a young redtail, we’re not sure – who frequents our back yard. He was laying low the day the tornado came through. Well, it was a funnel cloud, but I did see it – first time I ever saw one – and he was a sign that it was not safe outside. Spooky. He still frequents our back yard. I think the hay-covered area is a goldmine of sorts for him.

One night last week, Hunter almost snagged an opossum by the tail. It was trying to enjoy some compost contents in the back corner of our yard, but Hunter interrupted. Josef said he jumped up as high as he could, but he was just a little off from getting the tail. I guess the opossum is lucky that playing dead didn’t involve falling off the fence and into the yard.

Last animal sighting was a bunny. Josef got this mack daddy flashlight that’s crazy huge and crazy bright. You could use it as a spotlight for a theatre, I swear. Hunter was going nuts one night at the back of the fence and surely enough, when I shined the flashlight (I am always scared it’s going to be a coyote setting Hunter off), it was a bunny hopping along, seemingly unfazed by Hunter’s threats through the fence.

Of course, we are in a pretty heavily wooded area, which I adore. Other neighbors have seen deer and owls. There’s a pond where turtles hang out that is on the nature trail. We’re really blessed to have our own nature show in the Big City!

I just wish I could stop dreaming about animals, though. I dreamed about hamsters, alligators, and, last night, an injured hawk that my father left in my care. It could even talk!

Hi, faithful readers!

All five of you. I feel badly when someone I like a lot says, “Oh, I love your blog!” And then I remember, durn it, I still haven’t written a new post in almost a month, fer cryin’ in the mud!

So, what’s up? How ya been?

I’ve clearly been busy. And everyone else has been, too, it seems. I keep having conversations with various folks about how easily we fool ourselves into believing that the post-holidays will be a time of rest and reprieve from the rampant pace of the obligatory rat-race that stretches from Thanksgiving to New Year’s.

Bull honkey. It’s March, and I am exhausted.

But, I am sooooo happy to see daffodils and forsythia bushes in bloom. The pears are starting to bloom, too, and some Japanese magnolias. Yep, this is the good life: spring in the south! Even though it snowed on Sunday a week ago, it’s now gorgeous weather and the promise of the end of winter is tangible. Yay! (If you live somewhere cold, I am sorry. I am sure in a month or two – you know who you are – you can say nah-nah to me when the south is hot and unbearable and you are enjoying the nice extended spring that we don’t really get. Our spring usually lasts about a month. Then it’s summer time for real.)

Okay, so what do I need report on? I am job hunting. I have even more motivation to get a new job because the part of my job that is not admissions is now gone. So, I am really, really hopeful that I can find a teaching job. I have a few good leads, have had some interest, so that buffers me. One day I was really down, recently. I had totally given up on my dream. When I got home, though, I had a huge packet in the mail from my college. Transcripts! I have a lot of them, now. And their arrival was an answered prayer. I mean, yes, I ordered them, but I received them when I was feeling unsure about my path.

Emotionally, I am feeling excited about our upcoming trip to Europe! I can’t wait to see our friends and experience a whole new culture. I know it’s not quite so different as a trip to other parts of the world would offer, but it will still be awesome.

I’m pretty sad at the same time, though, because we are missing two weddings and the end of our church’s youth program for the year. The first wedding is the day before we leave, but it still isn’t feasible to attend as it’s pretty far away, but I hate to miss it because they are moving away from Atlanta. One of the youth interns and youth advisors (they are married) aren’t going to be with us next year, either. So, along with most likely leaving my school, I’ll be saying goodbye to quite a few folks over the next few months. I do hate to miss the weddings of both of these girls because they are both so special to me and I’m honored to be invited. I’m bummed.

Josef’s traveling a bunch for work now, too, but luckily he’s not gone for big stints of time. I am always grateful for his safe landing.

I had a nice walk today. A good friend who lives in our neighborhood got an adorable dachshund last year. We took our dogs on a stroll around the ‘hood and I was worried at first because I couldn’t find Hunter’s harness. I had to walk with a leash on his collar, which worries me because I don’t want him to get hurt or easily slip out of his collar when he wants to attack another dog (highly probable with Hunter, unfortunately!). I was really relieved that it all went well! Sawyer, the dachshund, was more aggressive between the two of them, although Hunter did kind of “go off” when we passed a few dogs. I think Hunter is mellowing out a little bit, finally. He is, after all, almost 10!

What else did I want to mention? We had fun hanging out with a fellow Susan, her fiance, and her future stepdaughter last night. I’m still enjoying yoga. My hair is getting ridiculously long, but I’m getting it trimmed on Thursday. I am looking forward to a lighter work week, even though most of the rest of the school is on spring break. I’m helping plan a baby shower for a much beloved pastor at our church.

Alright, gotta run for now. I hope to be blogging more regularly! And I need to go catch up on the blogs I enjoy! Enjoy your week!